Counting down to 27

Two months until I turn 27, and I’m looking forward to it. “27” sounds nice. Still considered young, but with a dash of maturity and experience. For example, at work, one would not treat a 27 year old like a new grad. No way! You’re an engineer that has been working full time for nearly 5 years. No more patting yourself on the back for taking on a new project, or solving a problem that you’ve never seen before. Not knowing what to do at work is no longer novel nor nerve racking - it’s just what’s normal.

27 is also a familial milestone as my mother got married at that age. When I was in undergrad, I would think, Geez… 27 is so old. I was certain that I’d be married before then. But now, “27” is knocking on my door, and I’m thinking “Really? Where has the time gone?”

Nearly five years ago, a good friend (let’s call her ‘K’) and I sat down at her parent’s kitchen door during New Years and I had the splendid idea of making a “5 Things to Do in 5 Years” list. It was the closest thing that I had to a 5-Year Plan. I clearly remember a few of the "things" on my list - start a Master’s degree, work overseas, travel to a place not in Asia (b/c until then I had only ever been to either China or Canada). With planning, mindful spending, and an impulsive personality that enabled me to say YES to a few, very, VERY last minute opportunities, I have managed to accomplish at least all of the items that I did remember. Hence, I guess I do know exactly where the time has gone.

For Jenny’s 5 Year Plan Version 1.0, I also intentionally made an effort to not include any romantic goals. I was 22, single and unreservedly stubborn about not harboring the stereotypical dreams of young women everywhere.

K and I have already made plans for the upcoming New Years to get together, and perform the long awaited assessment of our progress. The actual lists are currently held in an envelope, wrapped around a bottle of home-made wine that’s sitting in a wine stand in her parents’ basement. I hope that we would be bold enough to make a new 5 Year Dream List. Perhaps a glass or two of the home-made wine will help to free some of the secret aspirations that are currently being held captive in our souls by the ever mounting life sucking phenomenon known as adult responsibility, practicality and sensibility. Goal setting is hard. The risk of failure can be paralyzing. This time, I have to admit, instead of being stubborn and defiant about not including a romantic goal, the reason is more because I’m just a big chicken.

Why is it that with education, work, fitness, finances, etc., goal setting doesn’t seem so bad, but with romance, there’s this weird taboo or paradox about it. As if you desired it, it wouldn’t come true. No one ever says “Don’t worry. The perfect job opportunity or adventure will fall into your lap! It will come just when you’re not looking!” But those are the clichés constantly used to explain love. It’s like this mystical, elusive, confounding, massively sought-after experience that can only be bestowed serendipitously upon willing, BUT unsuspecting victims. Love can’t be planned for or expedited. You can't ‘Just make it happen!’.

That said, K did include a romantic goal on her 1.0 list and was not jinxed by it, as she started dating a good man soon after, and with whom she still has a relationship. Irrespective of the inclusion of romantic aspirations or not, I have still yet to settle what the other 4 or 5 goals will be. So I'd better get started on that, AND I should try to recall the things on the list that I've forgotten and try to complete them ASAP!